There are many things that I can tolerate. Homophobic, heteronormative blog posts on a popular website for young black women is NOT one of them.
As the Sexuality Editor for Zora & Alice, I read a plethora of sites to get the pulse of sex, dating & relationship discourse on the web. I read Clutch Magazine almost daily because I truly respect its mission and manifesto. There are very few popular websites dedicated to young women of color; however, it seems that each one continuously falls into the trap of being insensitive to the LGBT community. I was deeply disappointed in Clutch’s most recent article, Down Low Sista. The author, Tameka Jo Pauldo, probably did not intend for the post to be offensive to LGBT women of color, but it succeeded in perpetuating some typical LGBT stereotypes.
Full Disclaimer: I am a heterosexual woman. I only date men and I have no interest in dating women.
Why is my sexuality relevant? As a heterosexual woman, I believe that I still have a responsibility to support and call out homophobic discourse that offends my LGBT sisters and brothers. It is very easy for me to fall into the trap of heteronormativity, turn my cheek, and not comment because it does not directly impact me. When I read the article this morning, I tweeted that I didn’t even want to give it exposure. I KNEW the storm was coming once the rest of Clutch’s readers woke up.
I am the first to admit that I am not perfect. I’ve definitely said insensitive things about the LGBT community in the past, but I’ve made a true, deliberate process of becoming more conscious in this area. I’ve filmed a documentary about women dating bisexual men to confront Down Low male stereotypes, I sought discourse in the gender & sexuality field during my studies at NYU, and I make sure that I stay involved in LGBT activism. While I may not be able to march all the time, I will sign a petition, promote an event, and support LGBT organizers in every way that I can.
The following is unacceptable:
… these sistas mask behind their careers, made-up exterior and material possessions to appear normal or as what society deems the traditional make up of a straight woman. For whatever reasons, be it insecurity, fear of judgment, neglect or non-acceptance; they portray a certain image for others. Posing as ordinary women, not the stripper in the club or private escort on Craigslist who generally identify as “Bi,” DL sistas are all around us in everyday common places…The answer remains ambiguous as to why the down low mindset has become the norm in Black culture, but there are serious consequences to this alternate lifestyle that are obviously being ignored. One being the prevalent HIV/AIDS epidemic among the African American community, which also applies to homosexual activity between women as it does men. Sistas, don’t let a few minutes of pleasure turn into a lifetime of pain. Dare to be truthful. (editor’s note: Clutch Magazine edited the word “ordinary” from the originally published post)
I could go into a complex harangue to flex my consciousness, but that’s unnecessary. Instead, I just want to drop some main points that I hope Tameka, Clutch, and any other writers will consider before tackling a multifaceted issue, such as sexuality.
- LGBT WOMEN ARE NOT MONOLITHIC. Many of them enjoy basking in feminine products, such as make-up, “girly” fashion, etc. This does not mean that they are “masking behind their careers” or attempting to have a “straight” woman’s style identity. You buy what you like and they have the same liberty.
- WHAT IS AN “ORDINARY WOMAN”? It is absolutely unfair to suggest that LGBT women have to fit into the stereotypical categories of being a “stripper in the club” or a “private escort on Craig’s list.” In fact, women who love women don’t even have to identify as lesbian, gay, or bisexual. While I believe that every person has the responsibility to communicate their preferences and some sort of summation of their sexual history with their PARTNERS, broadcasting it to SOCIETY, is not required. LGBT women come from all walks of life and hold a diverse pool of identities. See #1 to get a piece of my drift.
- STOP WITH THE DOWN LOW EQUALS HIV/AIDS LIE. These statements make my skin crawl. I have studied this over and over again. I have done more research than most and there has yet to be a study that PROVES that HIV/AIDS infections in the black community are coming from Down Low men and women. Shame on Sherri Shepard. Shame on D.L. Hughley. Shame on you! If you’re wondering why the DL lifestyle is present in the black community, it’s because of intolerant assumptions like this. If you want people to be comfortable enough to be open about their sexualities within the community, the lies must stop.
As writers, we must eat our blows when we make mistakes. Tameka, you made a mistake and I would recommend that you apologize to the women that you offended. Clutch Magazine did release an apology stating that “CLUTCH Mag is not an anti-LGBT publication and readers should always know the views and opinions expressed in commentary-based articles belongs solely to the writer and not necessarily CLUTCH Mag.” There is some validity in this statement; however, Clutch, you do decide what to publish and you chose to release this. The Clutch editorial team made the decision to shut down the comments section after the negative backlash. If I may add, this was a bad move because it eliminated the opportunity for LGBT supporters to explain why this post was unacceptable. It’s one thing to take the entire article down because you’re embarrassed. To stop the conversation and only promote the author’s voice, and a few others, is wrong.
I have nothing else to say.
Tough love,
Arielle Loren
Sexuality Editor, Zora & Alice
